A Big Announcement! At Least It Is for Me...

Those of you who regularly read Raychelle Writes know that I enjoy interviewing authors and artists. I love blogging about all things writing and hosting other writers. Oh, and I have a thing for children's books, so I write them, illustrate them, and review them, too. All and all, I see writing as a way to share what I am learning. It is cathartic and a true outlet for me.

There are many other subjects that I am passionate about and wellness is one of them. I am a certified personal trainer and I have a degree in the wellness and fitness field. For the last several years, I have been posting about health, fitness, and wellness on Journeys Fitness. It has been said that we teach what we need to learn and I will admit that I am always on the quest for better and more balanced ways to live.

So, I am excited to announce my first project in the self-help genre! The Living Well: Taking Your Journey to a Balanced and Successful Life is a collection of original essays and published blog posts where I offer my take on success, conquering fears, atonement, finding your balance, setting goals, motivation, and happiness. My intention in writing this book is inspire each of us to consider our place in life, decide how to improve it, and then take action. My hope is that The Living Well becomes a resource for living which will be revisited as often as needed for years to come.

The Living Well is scheduled for release this summer. Stay tuned for other exciting news!

Be good to yourself! More next time...

Lessons From My "Life Coach"

Yesterday, I had a rather cathartic conversation with one of my dearest friends of over 25 years. The topics of discussion ranged from our families and personal growth to our journeys through adulthood and our future aspirations. The most significant part of our discussion tackled how easy it is to "get stuck in a rut" and how difficult it can be to get free. The biggest lesson that I learned is that it is possible to have the life that you want if you choose to have it.

Examine your siblings and other family members. Isn't it interesting how brothers and sisters who grew up in the same household can have completely different world views and approaches to living? I remember hearing someone make the comment that "You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the girl" and understanding in that moment what the single greatest deterrent to our individual and collective success is: IGNORANCE. I don't mean the kind of ignorance that is played out on "Jerry Springer" or "Flava of Love". What we see on these shows is the effect of one's thinking on his/her behavior. What I am referring to is root cause of ignorance defined as, "the state of lacking knowledge or intelligence;illiteracy; being uneducated or uninformed." Contained in the word ignorance is the word "ignore" which means, "to refuse to take notice of; to overlook, slight, or neglect."

I am a firm believer that once you know better, you will do better. A very wise man once said that, "He who controls the diameter of your thinking, controls the circumference of your activity." The choices that you make in life are limited by the scope of your knowledge base. You have to understand that you have the power to choose and be courageous enough to do it. I would like to offer some quotes that I hope will serve both as sources of inspiration as well as resources to draw upon while you consider the possibilities for your life.

1) "Do for self or suffer the consequences." -Elijah Muhammad
No one is going to improve your lot in life for you. Whether it be your relationships, finances, health, education, or happiness, you have got to go and get it for yourself.

2) "Open confession is good for the soul." -Scottish Proverb
Punishing yourself for past wrongs is non-productive. The only way to set yourself free of your demons is to get them out in front of you. I like to think through and write out my feelings, convey them to the individuals involved, and then run my words through the shredder. Clear the air, forgive yourself and others, and be done with it.

3) "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." -Albert Einstein
There exists a causal relationship in everything. Trying something new is paramount to growth and maturity. How can you change your reality if you don't change your perception? You cannot have what successful people have if you don't do what successful people do. If I work a job for 20 hours a week at a minimum wage job, then I cannot expect to live the life and enjoy the freedoms of one who works 60 hours a week building his own business. If I eat poorly and spend my leisure time on the couch watching the tube, then I will not have the body of an elite athlete. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If what you are doing isn't yielding the desired results, then do something else.

4) "The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them." -Albert Einstein
It is important to be present in the moment and make conscious, rational decisions in our lives. Refer back to quote number three. Many of the bad decisions that we make are under duress. In Texas, any legal contract entered into under duress is invalid. This simply means that you get "an out." If you were not in your right mind when you made a bad decision, then the ability to recognize and correct the mistake won't present itself until you settle back into reality. Sometimes that requires help from an outside source. If you were simply uniformed at the time of your decision, educate yourself and learn from the mistake. You will prevent history from repeating itself and break a vicious cycle.

5) "Go do something good for yourself today." -"Anonymous"
While we all have responsibilities to the people in our lives, no responsibility is more important than one's duty to himself. People are often drawn to you because of the benefits they can receive from your skills and talents. I believe that the world is made up of three kinds of people: givers, takers, and those who know how to balance both. A 100% giver usually has nothing to show for himself but resentment because no time is spent on filling his/her own tank. A 100% taker ends up alone and spending all of his time holding on to what he has extracted from others. The balancer is open to what the world has to offer, takes what he is blessed with and "pays it forward," and understands that his quality of life stems from taking care of himself and his happiness. The balancer understands that people will come and people will go. If the people in your circle take from you more than they give, get a new circle.

6) "No one who can rise before dawn three hundred sixty days a year fails to make his family rich." -Chinese Proverb
This quote is an excerpt from a book called, Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell. (A huge thanks to my sister, Rosiland, who recommended it to me and my siblings.) The point here is that successful people work harder than everybody else to achieve excellence. You have to be willing to push through uncertainty, adversity, fatigue, disappointment, and even poverty to achieve your goals and aims in life. The formula for work is force times distance. Your efforts (force) count for nothing if you remain stuck in the same place (travel no distance) day after day and year after year. Keep your shoulder to the plow and don't stop pushing.

Each of us is entitled to being wildly happy, having vibrant health, fostering good relationships, being wealthy and successful as defined on our own terms, having powerful spiritual connections, and living peaceful lives. We have to know that this possibility exists. We have to be willing to do the work. We have to be present in every moment. We have to be willing to change the way that we think. We have to choose to be happy.

Be good to yourself. More next time...

It's Not Hard to Say Goodbye...

This is the last day of 2011. Like many of you, I had an action-packed year. I am sure that each of you has had just as many triumphs as failures. It is not unusual to take a moment and be reflective about all of the things that you did or didn't do, things that did or didn't happen, the people who came into and went out of your life, the people who loved you and hated on you, the people who stuck with you and who turned their backs on you, all of the lessons you learned, and so on...But reflection is one thing, and holding on to "what had happened" is something else.

There is a lesson in everything--that is what the living is all about--so be present in every moment. See people for who they are and recognize that they are in your life to teach you something. Some will support and inspire you while others serve as an example of what NOT to be. Embrace that. Don't waste time on petty vendettas. Accept that we all have insecurities about something and those insecurities manifest themselves in our attitudes and behaviors. We can often feel threatened by the successes of others if we don't understand that the gifts we have are what we are supposed to have. There is a place in this world for everyone. The only person you should compete with is YOU. Stay in your lane, define your success on your own terms, and keep it moving (moving forward, that is).

If I am blessed to be here tomorrow, I vow to try harder than I ever have, challenge myself more than I ever have, ignore distractions and detractors, believe in myself, have faith in what Allah (God) has in store for me, strive to be a better sister, mother, partner, and friend, embrace love, shun jealousy and envy, and help somebody who needs it. I encourage each and every one of you to do the same.

So in case I don't "see" you, Happy New Year! Make it your best year yet!

Be good to yourself! More next time...

Healthy is the New Hot!

Too often, the quest for weight loss is tied to vanity. And granted, your perception is your reality. When you see fit, vibrant individuals, it is not uncommon to want to emulate what you see. You may want to wear the same brand of jeans they wear or rock the same hair style. You could be drawn to that confidence or covet the attention they receive. You may long for the waistline you used to have (or maybe never had). Ultimately, your focus is on what you perceive to be wrong with you. The energy is placed on getting what you don't have at any cost. This kind of thinking may lead to taking some drastic measures to achieve a new look. Contrary to popular belief, 40 isn't the new 20. People who look great at any age are committed to taking care of themselves.

Consider this: Your outward appearance is indicative of your current state of health. I am not saying that every person who is thin or looks good is living right. Crash diets, plastic surgery, compression garments, eye creams, and hair dyes are all quick fixes for cosmetic flaws. Eventually, bad habits will catch up with all of us. If you consistently eat foods that have little to no nutritional value, then the empty calories will clog your vital organs/systems, adversely affect your skin, hair, and, nails, dull the whites of your eyes, interrupt your sleep patterns, and result in unwanted weight gain. Smoking kills lung tissue and weakens the heart. Drinking alcohol dehydrates the body, can elevate blood pressure, stresses the liver and kidneys, and increases body fat. Bad habits age you. The bottom line is that your lifestyle will either increase or decrease your longevity. Being healthy radiates beauty from the inside out. If you want to turn back the clock, then make some healthy lifestyle changes.

Here is a list of simple lifestyle changes that will make being healthy your new "hot":

1)  Drink more water. Drinking more water improves liver function, which then permits the body to utilize fat stores for energy. The average person requires up to 12 glasses (96 oz.) of water per day plus an additional 8 oz. for every 25 pounds he/she is over the ideal weight. For example, if you weigh 200 pounds, but your ideal weight is 150 pounds, then your fluid intake should increase to 14 glasses per day. Eating more water-laden foods like soups and fruit will help meet that goal.

2)  Exercise more. Staying active and engaging in dedicated exercise most days of the week improves cardiovascular health, helps the body metabolize fat, removes waste from the body more effectively, reduces stress, improves immune function, increases bone density, improves sleep quality, and improves mood. If you do nothing else, walk for at least 20 minutes, 4-5 days per week.

3)  Clean up your diet. Make a commitment to yourself that over the next 30 days you will avoid fast foods, refined foods, and excess sugar. Increase the amount of fresh fruits and vegetables. Eat less meat and more plant-based proteins like navy beans, lentils, brown rice, broccoli, and spinach. At the 30 day mark, get on the scale and then rate your energy levels. Then, take it up a notch!

4)  Turn off all devices and go to bed. Getting adequate quality sleep is critical for healing and recovery of the body. If you are not getting 7-8 hours of sleep nightly, everything from your mood to your performance will suffer. Oh, and the bags plus the dark circles under your eyes will only get worse. So try to maintain a consistent bedtime and rest well!

5)  Cure what ails you. See your doctor about those nagging pains and symptoms that afflict you. Your quality of life will go through the roof once your attention can be placed on what you can do as opposed to what slows you down.

6)  Let go of the baggage. Forgive. Forget. Move on. Holding grudges and obsessing over old hurts halts progress. Make peace, atone, and get back to living. Doing so will surely put a smile on your face. Let that be your best accessory!

Be good to yourself! More next time...

Finding Balance in Your Life

According to Dr. Bill Hettler, wellness is comprised of six dimensions: occupational, physical, social, intellectual, spiritual, and emotional. To be considered "well", one must strive to enhance areas of his life that take away from overall happiness and (ultimately) peace. This model proposes the following tenets for living a healthy, balanced life.

Occupational Wellness:

• It is better to choose a career which is consistent with our
personal values, interests, and beliefs than to select one
that is unrewarding to us.
• It is better to develop functional, transferable skills
through structured involvement opportunities than
to remain inactive and uninvolved.

Physical Wellness:

• It is better to consume foods and beverages that enhance
good health rather than those which impair it.
• It is better to be physically fit than out of shape.

Social Wellness:

• It is better to contribute to the common welfare of our
community than to think only of ourselves.
• It is better to live in harmony with others and our
environment than to live in conflict with them.

Intellectual Wellness:

• It is better to stretch and challenge our minds with
intellectual and creative pursuits than to become selfsatisfied
and unproductive.
• It is better to identify potential problems and choose
appropriate courses of action based on available
information than to wait, worry, and contend with major
concerns later.

Spiritual Wellness:

• It is better to ponder the meaning of life for ourselves and
to be tolerant of the beliefs of others than to close our
minds and become intolerant.
• It is better to live each day in a way that is consistent
with our values and beliefs than to do otherwise and feel
untrue to ourselves.

Emotional Wellness:

• It is better to be aware of and accept our feelings than to
deny them.
• It is better to be optimistic in our approach to life than
pessimistic.

For more information on how to find balance and achieve wellness in your life, visit the following link: http://www.nationalwellness.org/pdf/SixDimensionsFactSheet.pdf

Be good to yourself! More next time...

Tying the Knot

Life offers many challenges on the road to self-discovery. Every individual is presented with a unique set of circumstances. The way that these challenges are handled will determine success or failure, happiness or sadness, growth or stagnation, and more. I remember many years ago hearing the following quote: "When you find yourself at the end of your rope, tie a knot and hold on tight." Just when you think that your situation couldn't get any worse and you have tried everything to make things better, a little faith and a little patience will go a long way. Easier said than done, right?

The key to receiving your blessings and rewards in life is perseverance. Perseverance is fueled by a clear vision. It is critical to focus on the big picture. Be clear about why you have embarked on a certain path. Consider what the ultimate goal is. Take your attention away from drama and distractions. Focus on what you are striving to achieve. If the goal is worthwhile, then tie the knot. If it isn't, then let it go.

My point is that we only get one shot at this life. It is precious and special and has much to offer if we don't give up on it. Disappointments are inevitable. So-called friends will come and go. Even our families will give us grief from time to time. But the simple joys in life will always outweigh the hard times if we just cherish them.

So, when the finish line is in sight, but your legs are about to give out, Tie the Knot.

When your best friend "does you dirty", Tie the Knot.

When your spouse takes you for granted, Tie the Knot.

When your children rebel, Tie the Knot.

When your boss is breathing down your neck, Tie the Knot.

When your faith is a little shaky, Tie the Knot.

When you are struggling to break a habit, Tie the Knot.

When your grades just aren't cutting it, Tie the Knot.

When people try to take advantage of your gifts, Tie the Knot.

When someone breaks your confidence, Tie the Knot.

When someone slanders you, Tie the Knot.

When you lose a loved one, Tie the Knot.

When your money is too funny, Tie the Knot.

When others are critical of your success, Tie the Knot.

When you are down and depressed, Tie the Knot.

When you faced with a hard decision, Tie the Knot.

Tie the Knot. Hold on tight. Don't give up. Persevere. Fight through the rough times. Know with a certainty that no mistakes were made in your creation. You are alive for a distinct purpose. Figure out for yourself what that purpose is. Now, go forward, live your life, and be great at it! No one can do it for you and no one can do it better!

Be good to yourself! More next time...